My wife and 2 1/2-year-old son spent the afternoon with my son’s classmate and his parents at their place on Easter Sunday and enjoyed a delicious barbecue. My wife and I obviously don’t celebrate Easter, and would not have realized it was Easter if my family had not sent a few texts wishing me a Happy Easter.

As the food was being prepared, our hosts were discussing an older female friend of the family. The husband asked his wife about the woman. She said that the older woman wasn’t able to join them today, or at all during the weekend because she was going to spend the weekend with God. Seriously.

The woman had planned on not leaving her home so that she could talk to God all weekend…being that it was Easter weekend.

Is anyone else imagining what God had planned for the weekend?

And, shit, which God was going to join her for the weekend? Old Testament, psychopathic, bloodthirsty God? Or the New Testament God?

This is a perfect example of delusional behavior and thinking.

I had hoped “spend the weekend with God” was a metaphor for staying in and masturbating all weekend. Hmmm. What do you think?