My First “ASS Burner!”

Congratulations to the Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA) sponsor at my high school…you’re my first Ass Burner. I’ve been sitting on this post for months and have finally built up the appropriate amount of rage!

These gems adorn her classroom:

christallhopeisfound (2)

The note reads “Alone in Christ my Hope is found.”  Somone please tell me what is the fucking point of posting this in the classroom! I suppose I should display “In Beer alone my Day is saved?” Does she need a daily reminder of how to search for Hope? Or is she making sure that every fucking adult and child who walks into her classroom knows where she found Hope? Oh, fuck that!

The Bullshittery continues…


I turned The Athlete’s Bible around so that the book bind didn’t face the students. That went unnoticed for about 2 months, until when she just recently noticed it and set it to face the students in her class. I may donate my copy of The Atheist’s Bible to her desk!

But here is what really earned her the first Ass Burner award:

The first photo reads: “God’s Word is Relevant! The Bible was written thousands of years ago, but in it we can find guidance for all kinds of problems we face today. What the Bible says about…”

The 6th bullet point down the list of “problems we face today” is HOMOSEXUALITY. Jesus H Fucking Christ, I flew into a rage when I read it! The pamphlet was actually in a bag on the teacher’s desk. The bag was full of such pamphlets as well as large FCA fridge magnets. Of course, I needed a few souvenirs, so I helped myself. So, to recap, a teacher at my high school has a few dozen of these Cross-Train like a Christian pamphlets out in the open in her classroom for everyone to see. The pamphlet refers to homosexuality as a problem!

The piece of shit ignores the fact that several gay male and female students attend our school, as well as a few transsexual students. No doubt some of these students are in her classes. And this crazy fuck is advertising that she can help children find guidance for one of the major problems we face today…homosexuality!

Many teachers in my school have a “this is a safe place” sign (for gender, religion, disabilities, etc.) posted on their doors. I cringe every time I enter her fucking room!

What really burns my ass, though, is the fact that she calls everyone (teachers and students) FRIEND. Who the fuck calls everyone they see FRIEND?? What the fuck is wrong with this person?! When I enter her classroom, while students are present, and she says to me, “Well, hello Friend” I just subtlety reply, “Dude.”

FUCK her…and her FRIEND…and her HOPE…and her CHRIST.

I need a beer. I’m out.

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