I’ve been an atheist for almost 25 years. I started questioning religion, the Bible, and God when I was a freshman in college. During this time I’ve believed some stupid fucking shit. Finally, during the last 2 or 3 years, I’ve been able to behave more skeptically and critically.

My wife and I were vegans for about 2 years. I said, “fuck this shit” in late 2014 and smashed the best Thanksgiving dinner I’ve ever had!

I put myself through so much fucking woo, I’m surprised I was able to get out! I started using Tom’s toothpaste because it’s fluoride free. I even used aluminum free deodorant. I stopped drinking tap water (a great idea, though, if you’re living in Flint, MI). Fuck, I’m embarrassed to say that for a brief moment my former best friend had me convinced that vaccines caused autism.

Years ago, that same friend convinced me that the U.S. had faked the moon landing and that the government and local police were building internment camps. Needless to say, that friend happens to worship the dick of Alex Jones, king shithead and conspiracy theorist. I remember watching hours of Jones’ show and experiencing major fucking cognitive dissonance. I knew what I was seeing and hearing was major fucking bullshit, but I loved and trusted my friend, so I thought, “there’s no way Kevin is wrong. He must be right about this shit.” I was finally able to break free. I miss my friend, but I don’t think the relationship can be repaired.

I believed that scientists and the government had discovered a cure for cancer, and were intentionally keeping it from us.

I believed in the complete power of vitamins and supplements.

I only shopped at Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s, and only bought natural and organic foods.

I believed in detox and cleanses.

Pretty much, I believed every post I read on Facebook. Fucking embarrassing.

David Fucking “Avocado” Wolfe has an upcoming post dedicated to him.

Along with Oprah: who gave the world Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, and Deepak Chopra.