At the end of my last class today, a student was finishing her Geometry test so I waited with her for a few minutes. The teacher, whose classroom I was using, asked me if I wanted snacks from the teacher’s lounge. Apparently, our monthly staff meeting was canceled, so the admin treated their hungry minions. I told the teacher to grab some cheese and crackers, and meat in some form, if they had any.

10 minutes later my plate of snacks, minus the meat, arrived. The student finished her test, so I quickly walked toward the lounge to pillage and plunder what was left! As I walked and ate from the plate, I thought to myself, “Hold on..wait…this cheese smells like it’s been touching meat. Shit! My immediate thought was that there was meat in that lounge and that teacher screwed me over!

I turned the corner and walked by two teachers headed in the opposite direction. I asked if there was meat, ham, sausage, pepperoni…in the lounge, and I told them about what I thought I had smelled. One of the women replied, “Nope, no meat. You’re smelling bacon-flavored Ritz crackers.”

Goddamn motherfucking sneaky ass bacon Ritz Crackers!

By the way…they were delicious!