Children, ‘Ware the She-Bears!

Today, a student teased me for being bald. She said that the top of my head looked like a little patch of grass, which it does so I really can’t complain. My best comeback? I told her that she should never wear mom jeans again. It’s not a flattering look! Side note- shit, apparently, mom jeans are backing […]

Sneaky Ass Bacon Ritz Crackers…

At the end of my last class today, a student was finishing her Geometry test so I waited with her for a few minutes. The teacher, whose classroom I was using, asked me if I wanted snacks from the teacher’s lounge. Apparently, our monthly staff meeting was canceled, so the admin treated their hungry minions. I […]

“That Avocado Looks Familiar”

That crab rangoon really would’ve tied my lunch together. A few weeks into this year at my new school, I sadly found my leftover Chinese missing the best part- delicious, juicy, fucking crab rangoon. That morning I had dropped off my lunch bag in the fridge in one of our special education classrooms. Six paraeducators […]